I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
