too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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