Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
