This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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