So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
