It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
