Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
