i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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