Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Randomize
