Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize