both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
