I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
