Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
pray to the hookup gods
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
