This girl is more easily done than said...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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