I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
