For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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