What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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