Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
