I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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