He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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