So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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