Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least