Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.