real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm