Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(