And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
