her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
