it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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