good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
