All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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