I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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