I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
