I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize