Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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