So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I smell stomach acid.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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