so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I didn't notice because vodka
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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