oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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