So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
