They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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