I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
