Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
