i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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