You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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