drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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