Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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