i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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