Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
