Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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