Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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