Porn is love you can see.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
These tits shall not be calmed
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
