guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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