I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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