Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
