she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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