Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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