What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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