If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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