So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
