Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
