You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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