JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
