Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
