so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
