he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I intend to get homeless drunk
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
