i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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