so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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