So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
