But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
