I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
