We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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